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Saturday, July 17, 2010

Married life Problems

Tips to Save a Marriage from Divorce

Communicate – Talk and Listen:Proper communication is one of the

most important tips to save a marriage from divorce. Most of the problems

in marriage arise because a spouse doesn’t understand what the other

wants. There are things that you might expect your spouse to understand

without your mentioning it. At other times he might not have heard what

you said. Tell him what you want. He loves you. However, at the same time,

he might act stubborn. Reason out with him. One stands a better chance

talking it out with his partner rather than sulking in silence.

Deal with Problems Pro-actively: Some problems can be as small as

picking up the child from school, or more serious issues related to

managing finances of the family. Sit down and analyze the problem.

Discuss how much time and energy each can invest in shouldering

responsibilities of the family, and draw out a plan how to meet these

needs.

Spend Time with Each Other: The pressure of meeting career demands

and ensuring financial security for the family leaves one with very

little time for his/her spouse. Lack of time is one of the most common

causes and reasons for divorce. One has to make a conscious effort to

spend time with his/her partner. Even when you want to relax, sit or lie

down beside him or ask him to sit with you. Talk with him during this

time. Ask him simple questions like what happened in the office that

day. He might be reluctant and aloof. However, if you persist, he is

sure to come around.

Pep up Your Married Life: Most couples do not realize it, but lack

of excitement is one of the major issues as to why marriages fail.

Think of the things that you did together in the initial years of

marriage or while you dated. Recall each others interests. Go out

for a short vacation together. What about going out on a date together?

Get tickets to the season’s baseball match or go shopping or to the

opera depending on your spouse’s likes. Add that excitement to

your married life. Many couples have realized how bringing

excitement into their lives have helped them to see each other

with renewed interest.

Seek Help: When one’s marriage is going through a rough patch,

there would be a lot people with all sorts of relationship advice.

While many of them would be useful, it is for one to decide which

one stands in the best interest of his marriage. Don’t be swayed

by what family and friends have to say. There might be some,

who due to personal interest, may give wrong advice on purpose.

Learn to identify well wishers. A better option than to seek advice

from family and friends is to go for marriage counseling. These are

trained professionals who are capable of viewing the problems in

an objective way and provide valuable suggestions. For self-help,

refer to books on marriage and divorce. The Internet is also a full

of information that can save your marriage.

Be Patient: It is important to realize that problems in marriage

were not caused overnight. Hence, expecting them to go away

quickly is a mistake. Patience is one of the very important tips

to save a marriage from divorce. When a couple considers divorce,

it indicates that considerable damage has been done to their

relationship. One might not be ready to cooperate in efforts that

might save the marriage. In such a scenario, it is important to give

one’s partner some time. Showing frustration or dissatisfaction

towards one’s partner may make matters worse

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