Struggling a bit......

As I have written before I have good days and bad days as far as this pregnancy goes today has been a bad one. Actually the last couple of days have been bad ones emotional not physically. Several woman who write some of the blogs I read are pregnant one lost her baby on Monday and another had a pretty scary 24 hours after a Dr. sent her for tests, thankfully all seems to be going well for her now. Last night a friend who I used to be very close to lost her baby at almost 19 weeks.

I am struggling today because she and I have not been close for quite some time for many reasons some selfish, some not. She recently reached out to me via one of the many social networking sites out there to say hi and say she was happy to see that I was doing well. We exchanged some emails back and forth and she shared with me that she was pregnant with her first, and I shared with her I also was pregnant. She was very excited to start a family and seemed genuinely excited and happy for me as well. She was due 3 weeks before me. We had not exchanged emails since as I don't think either of us was ready or in some respects willing to rekindle the friendship that once was. We were jsut contenet in touching base.

Last night she emailed me the news that she and her husband had lost the baby and my heart broke. I know the heartache of miscarriage but I can't begin to understand the heartache of losing a child this far along in a pregnancy.

I responded the only way I knew how by saying how sorry I was for her loss but I can't help but feel I should do more. As I said I used to be very close to this person and as time went on we grew apart. I just hate to see people in pain and the pain of losing a child seems far to great. I pray that her family and close friends embrace her and I will try my best to do what I can from afar.