Note: this post has updates as of 11/22 and is meant to act as an ongoing conversation. There will be follow up posts to come. Thanks for reading, and please feel free to share your thoughts below!----
I gave my heart to God long before Hubs and I were married, but the entire premarital counseling commitment + the incredible spiritual experience of making a lifelong promise on our wedding day renewed my sense of God's everlasting grace. Standing under the trees that day, I was reminded of His eternal presence in the world. I find it interesting that this life-changing process paralleled the start to my Bikram practice. Here's a short reflection on how the two continue to inform each other, and provide me a beautiful life.
During class today my teacher Stuart said something I loved:
"What, are you having a spiritual moment right now? OK, save that for after class. Right around, right around to savasana."
We were only three postures away from being done and everyone seemed a little sluggish, so Stuart made an effort to focus solely on getting us in and out of the postures. In his compassionate yet firm voice, he pushed us to move faster. "Get to relaxation. Let's go, right around." Stu spoke in the same tone that I've heard teachers use to tell students to put down their water ("You can take a shower after class!"), to stay with the dialogue ("No speedy Gonzalez! I didn't say anything about a backbend. No backbends!"), or to stop freaking out ("You've got this, guys. It's just yoga!").
A voice that means business, that demands. A voice that a teacher has earned, and should use to keep control of the class.
I found Stuart's no-nonsense approach hilarious. Like any other posture correction, he just pointed to a student who seemed zen-d out, told them to focus, and brought their attention back to the room. I imagine that in other types of yoga, a teacher might encourage students to embrace a spiritual moment, to detach from the present, or even to invite the experience of intense emotion, if that's what the yoga brought during class.
But this is what I love about Bikram -- when you come to class, you leave that stuff at the door. You get to business. You do the postures. If you can, you must.
Stuart also reminded us, "Choose not to suffer. If you're in here and you're lonely, or frustrated, or angry -- that's you. We're not sellin' that in here."
It's so true: Bikram yoga is about doing the yoga, and breathing through it when it gets tough.
It's not about moping, or feeling sorry for ourselves, or dwelling on our emotions or life situations outside the studio.
In Bikram yoga, we meditate. We focus. We grow stronger.
There is one option: do the yoga. Follow the dialogue. Do the best you can.
I wouldn't even consider 'Namaste' a prayer, but it is the one somewhat-spiritual ritual we practice in Bikram. While I pray regularly in my own life, my 90 minute class is a time where I allow myself to fully relax, clear my mind, and connect with my body.
Since I started practicing yoga, I've thought a lot about the ways it connects to my spirituality and my Christian beliefs. For me, the two are hugely separate, but each inform each other.
My yoga practice allows me to quiet my mind quickly, to silence self-doubt and anger, to meet goals I never imagined I was capable of meeting. My Christianity allows me to connect fully with God, to live by His grace, and to give love and forgiveness to others that I would otherwise be incapable of giving.
Together, these two practices help me to love my life, my body, and others in the same way that I know I am loved by God.
In Jeremiah 29:11, God reassures us, "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"
There are a lot of moments in our lives when we find it hard to believe this. About a year ago, as I was going through the three hardest months I've ever been through, I struggled to accept this idea. But it's so hard now, I thought. How will things ever be better? I had a hard time thinking I'd ever feel completely happy again, much less thinking I'd easily be able to get through a day without tears.
What heights of love, what depths of peace. I now know a joyful balance, an insane love within marriage, a happiness unlike any other year of my life.
I look at where I am now and I believe with every fiber of my heart that I have been living according to God's plan for my life all along. Looking back, I understand that experiencing distress and anxiety allowed me to discern where it was coming from, how I could change my habits, and how I could choose to see the world around me.
I became thankful for the pain, and trusting that it would not last forever.
In the yoga, this can happen on a micro level throughout class. On the hard days, we start pranayama breathing wondering how we'll make it through when we feel lightheaded and uncomfortable within minutes and we haven't even done an asana yet.
Standing Head to Knee. We wonder: how will I someday be able to hold up my leg for a full 60 seconds if today I can hardly balance on one leg?
Fixed Firm. Will my hips and ankles ever open up? I've been sitting on the floor for months, watching yogis around me arch their lower backs like bridges, their arms over their heads and their breathing slow... and my flexibility hasn't changed. How can I believe there's a future for me in this posture?
Again and again, we hesitate. We question ourselves, our capabilities. We feel apprehensive -- or simply apathetic-- about embracing change, or giving it the right amount of time to take place.
And then, all of a sudden, we learn the real yoga, and we let go.
We get out of our own way.
We trust.
And our practice, and our lives, are completely changed.
We get happy, like newlyweds embarking on the rest of their lives together.
As Bikram likes to say, "Tell them to come to firm their ass! In six months, their whole lives have changed."
Whether we come to yoga to practice determination, flexibility or a spiritual connection to the world around us, we will be changed by it as soon as we let go.
Here are a few verses to turn to if you're experiencing difficulty with accepting change in your life:
From Deuteronomy 31:8: “It is the Lord who goes before you.”
John 14:1–3: “Do not let your hearts be troubled.”
Isaiah 43:18–21: “See, I am doing a new thing.”
We can do all things through Him!
Spiritual moments encouraged, but just not during Bikram class. Do the postures, people!
As soon as we choose not to suffer, the whole world is ours.
I'd love to hear your thoughts about spirituality and yoga. Please leave a comment below!
