You Need to Say It

Photo via FYeahYoga.

Chances are, you need to say it again. To your husband, to your family, to your friends.

I love you; I always will. I forgive you for making mistakes. I missed you while you went to the bathroom just now. I missed you yesterday all day while we were at work. I want to spend more time with you, not my computer screen. I need you. I need to be held by you. I need to be close to you.

I love you. I always will.

A lot of the time we get by in the day-to-day without really ever connecting with those around us. Without connecting to our own emotions, fears, and needs.

We hardly take time to stop and notice what we're feeling, much less communicate it to those who need to know.

There's a difference between thinking it and saying it.

I urge you -- however lonely you are, however upset, or angry inside -- to show it today. Reach out to someone who can help you, or talk to you. Tell him you love him. Ask him if you can make a plan to spend more time together. You need it.

He deserves to know, as much as you deserve to tell. To let go.

Ready for the Impossible?

 

Photo via Pennyweight.

I have a feeling 2011 is going to be an incredible year. Are you ready for it?

I'm ready for quiet moments, full skies and elaborate dreams. I plan to do plenty of yoga, healthy cooking, and reading for fun.

And I want healthy relationships -- with my Hubs, my friends, and myself -- to be at the top of the list.

Photo via Andrew + Carissa.

Photo via Atlantic Tree Fox.

Now is one of those times of year I feel pretty reflective. I find myself reminiscing about my favorite memories -- which means reliving the Big Day over and over. Anyone else wish they could enjoy their wedding day all over again just because it was so wonderful?

Before we left California, I was also helping my mom pack up a few boxes and get rid of some of my old stuff. I spent a few hours going through old papers -- birthday cards, love notes from my lunchboxes as a kid, letters from penpals, journal entries, high school essays. I found myself feeling strangely sentimental, and sad to leave my family. The cards from both of my late grandmothers almost brought a tear, and more so they have inspired new poetry.

Photo via A Desert Fete. 

Photo via Oh Happy Day!

Getting back to our wonderful little apartment has also inspired me. Hubs and I endured a particularly long and ridiculous journey home (delays at the airport, delays for our bags, delays for the cab) so we were pretty happy once we made it to our bed last night.

We spent the whole day today cleaning, organizing, and getting rid of old stuff. The perfect New Year's purge!

It felt great to free up some space and tidy up. We still have a bit to do -- and I have big plans for my own new planning schemes to keep things easy to find! 

Photo via David and Sarah.

Photo via Stephen Beadles Photography.

At the start of January, it's easy to look forward and think how lovely and open the new year is. It's just as easy to look back at the year behind us and get overwhelmed by how much we had to do to survive it.

Are you busy looking forward, or looking back?

At this very moment, I am equally at peace with my goals for the new year and my accomplishments from the past year. I feel prepared to do better, to grow, to let go. I'm as ready for the impossible as I can be.

Photo by Jose Villa.

A final quick note: I'll be featuring a new series here on Alive in the Fire very soon! It's called:

Beyond Childhood (How to Love Your Kiddos Better) 

Get excited; you're going to be seeing a lot of adorable baby pictures, parenting advice, thoughts for expectant moms-to-be, reviews of green products, and ways to make family your top priority in 2011! I hope you'll follow along and consider contributing your comments and ideas.

If you know of a mom who might want to share her story, please have her email me here: aliveinthefire at gmail dot com.

I'd also love to hear from you with ideas about:

• Family-focused companies
• Eco-friendly and green products for babies
• How to put family first
• Raising kids with love, hope and spirit
• Eating well for you and your family

Thanks and namaste!

Wish List

 

In 2011, I will practice my handstands and headstands.

What postures are you looking forward to rocking in 2011?

Number one on my list is the headstand, followed closely by Standing Head to Knee. I want to be able to hold the posture for a full 60 seconds.

I also wouldn't mind these lovely finds via the illustrious Coffee and Yoga.

Ready to take flight.

Best spinning dress ever.

This would look great as a poster on my wall.

These would also look great poster-sized at a yoga studio.

Isn't that the cutest coffee mug cozy?

From the Island: Handcrafted Clay Necklaces

Next up in the featured Puerto Rican Etsy sellers is BijouxHibou. At this shop, you can find beautiful artisan necklaces and tiles in a style described as "Raku meets tie dye."

One lucky Alive in the Fire reader will win this mango-inspired necklace.

Beautiful, right?

The pendant measures 1 1/2" in diameter and it comes with a 26" rust colored satin cord with sliding knots so you can easily adjust the length.

Wandie's description of her shop:

Painter, sculptor, animal lover, dreamer, island girl at heart.  I'm an artist + illustrator from the beautiful island of Puerto Rico and I create small, skillfully wrought, abstract pieces of art in clay. I created my shop, Bijoux Hibou, pronounced bee-zhoo ibu, which is French for Jewel Owl, as an oasis I could escape to and let my imagination and love for color run wild.

My tile pendants are created to look like natural and rustic pieces of pottery. The color and texture creates personality to bring out the best in each piece. I like to think of them as abstract pieces of art on clay. I enjoy creating a variety of color combinations and design elements that evoke emotion, self -expression and inspiration.

On enjoying the outdoors:

I love horseback riding and I took Hunter/Jumper lessons in Texas for two years and I'm a mountain biker.  Since I'm active I don't wear alot of fine jewelry but when I do, I like to wear one of my pendants while tackling some single-track on my mountain bike.

To win the necklace, please leave a comment below and check out BijouxHibou's shop on Etsy.

Also, BijouxHibou is offering a 15% off deal on all orders by Alive in the Fire readers until 12/17. Simply enter the coupon code BHSURF15 when checking out. Enjoy!


Finally, we've got a winner for the lovely silk scarf by SilkMari! Congrats to Ms. Copsey. Email me so we can coordinate getting the scarf to you.

More Than a List: Reflections on Thankfulness

Hey friends, yogis, families, people! Only a week 'til the Big Family Feast. Have you started planning your menus? Did you invite friends over?

Photo by the talented Sarah Rhoads.

Have you thought about the blessings in your life?

Bright open skies, homemade food, and mittens on the cold mornings. Relaxation. The chance to clear your mind and make it blank. Dogs that thank us just for being around. Friends at work who compliment our scarves. Fuzzy covers. Cuddles, unexpected hugs, and the camera lenses that catch them.


Today, I choose to be thankful for what I have.


The hardest part about gratitude is that it demands thankfulness not only for what's beautiful, easy, predictable, fun. We must also be grateful for our troubles, our pain, our sorrow.


Each of these make us stronger. We are reminded of this every time we practice Bikram yoga.


"Choose to relax," as my studio's owner says. "What if you chose to enjoy the posture rather than suffer?"


What would happen if you chose not to suffer?

Sarah's work inspires me to think about what real love really looks like. There's not always a smile in frame.

Think of the difference it would make if we applied this philosophy to our everyday lives, our work, our relationships.


The other night I was feeling stressed about money stuff and I was cuddling with the Hubs while we talked through it. I turned to him, both of us with a look of anguish on our faces, staring into each other. What if I just let it go? I thought, realizing this was the only way out.


Today, looking back, I am grateful for the struggle. I am so glad that I have to work for what I have. I am thankful that I wasn't born a millionaire, because I enjoy the satisfaction of earning my own paycheck. And as much as it can be a challenge sometimes to make ends meet (and to resist the urge to spend on special treats), in the end, the difficulty provides the reward.


At the start of this holiday season, I am reminded that we tumble along not by luck, but by hard work, grace, and patience.


By exerting 100%, we earn the right to relax 100%.


By enduring pain, we grow stronger.


By thanking ourselves and others, we earn the right to take pride in our work (not boost our egos, but take humble pride in our effort, not only our accomplishments).


And we earn the chance to indulge ourselves. And eat a bunch of delicious food, more than our bellies are even wishing for.

My beautiful cousin Joelle took this one last year at Thanksgiving. Yum!

The Weepies Live in Evanston!

The Weepies are one of my favorite bands ever. I belted out every song :)

The show last night was incredible. I am more in love with The Weepies than ever! Hubs and I smiled, laughed, tapped our toes, and sang along with every tune. Deb and Steve were adorable, as usual, and the band rocked out. I was very impressed by their stage presence, spot-on vocals and silly stories.

They all came on stage dressed in crazy Halloween costumes and wigs, Deb with black lipstick on and long, black hair. Steve was hiding behind a wild side-swept wig and sunglasses, and the rest of the band was sporting awesome hats and makeup. After a couple songs Deb laughed as she introduced them as "The Creepies." It was great.

My two favorite songs were "Can't Go Back Now" from their Hideaway album, and a fantastic ballad sung by just Deb and Steve called "Sing Me to Sleep," from his first album Big Senorita. I really loved all of their charming stories about the inspiration behind songs (anything from spam porn emails to their son playing peek-a-boo to fighting with each other). It was a beautiful night and they sounded even better live than on the recorded tracks. Lovely! Beautiful! Wondrous. I am still grinning and humming their songs.

I've checked another dream off the list :)

In case you don't know The Weepies and their playful lyrics, here are a few tidbits...

Yesterday when you were young
Everything you needed done was done for you
Now you do it on your own
But you find you're all alone, what can you do?

You and me walk on, walk on, walk on
'Cause you can't go back now

-from "Can't Go Back Now," which was my personal theme song earlier this year during a hard time. It inspired me to carry on despite challenge, pain, and worry. I truly believe in the idea behind the song: sometimes, in order to grow we truly have to take steps on our own!

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And at closing time we're a nickel and a dime
In the deep back pocket of America
Trying to find wings or something to carry you home
Right now you better make the best of your situation
Escape through a hole in the conversation
The sun comes up like a revelation and I'm so lonely without you

Baby sing me to sleep turn down the covers ‘cause talk is cheap
Baby sing me to sleep ah turn out the lights
Remember the nights when the rain fell eighteen inches deep
Baby sing me to sleep

-from "Sing Me to Sleep," a tune that's beautiful and heart-wrenching at the same time. "A hole in the conversation?!" Brilliant.

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If you've never been to SPACE in Evanston, you should check it out. They've got one of the prettiest, classiest venues around. Delicious pizza and a warm, inviting yet modern atmosphere with gorgeous over-the-bar lights and ceiling art fans that look like jellyfish!

My view looking up at the ceiling. Jellyfish fans! They were so calming and stylish.

Men. Yoga. Yes.

Lithe and strong, like a yogi.

These incredible photos are by a friend of mine from high school, Emily Voigtlander. She's a talented artist with a dashing boyfriend, Jordan, featured above. They are living the dream in San Francisco with their adorable pup named Willow, writing a sweet cooking blog, adventuring in the city, and loving each other well.

I am about to feature a series on men who do yoga here at Alive in the Fire and I'm interested to hear more about your views on masculinity, strength, power, balance and equality. Do you tend to see a lot of women at Bikram classes? Feel outnumbered if you're one of few guys in the room?

Do you notice a difference when men teach in comparison when women do?

How do you witness yoga as a tool to bring together members of a local studio, and of a world community, regardless of gender?

What would you like to see change? Are there ways we can use the yoga to transform our perspective and truly bring an open mind to our life experiences whether we experience inequality or not?

Are you personally willing to practice the genuine concept of "Namaste" in your life?

"The good in me sees and acknowledges the good in you." I am here; you are here with me. 

"I bow to you." I recognize your beauty, presence, power. 

"I honor that place in your where the whole Universe resides. And when I am in that place in me, and you are in that place in you, there is only one of us."

Men, women, yogis. We are one.

Em and Jordan and their pup, Willow! I couldn't resist; I really couldn't. :) 

Such a happy family! Miss you guys and hope all is well.

Guys Who Bikram: What's Your Story?

Alright, dudes. It's your time on Alive in the Fire!

Have you heard? I'm collecting stories from male yogis with enthusiasm, experience and humility about their yoga journey. I'd love to hear from you! 

Send me a message: aliveinthefire@gmail.com. Please include some background on how you found your yoga, why you love it, what your favorite posture is, perhaps some goals for the future, and of course photos! Not required, but highly encouraged. Tell your friends, too!

Here you'll find four of my favorite men: Nick, Professional Best Man and Lake Michigan Swimmer. Josh, the Hubs of my Dreams.


Isaac, Best Brother Out There. And Dad, A Real Sailor.


I love them all dearly and truly admire them for their ability to be masculine and yet compassionate, to pursue their passions, to enjoy life, and to kick butt at what they do. I believe real men know that there's more to their manliness than just testosterone and pride; being a man also means loving unconditionally and letting go sometimes, too.


All of these sexy men know how to do just that.


Thanks for being awesome, guys. You are the kind of friends, husbands, brothers, and fathers that some people wish for, but I'm lucky enough to enjoy every day. I love you!


...Oh, and let me know when you want to come to yoga! I'd love to drag you into the heat for a real workout.

Back to Town: Salvation

Photo via YayEveryday!

Hey yogi friends! So I'm back in Evanston after a lovely week in the northern Minnesota woods, and I'm excited as ever to be here. With my HUBS! And the Best Man, who's helping us move this week. I'll be posting again real soon, but in the mean time wanted to share this gorgeous graphic & quote.

It really is true, isn't it?

You can't depend on others for your own salvation. You must let go, humble yourself in the sight of God, be thankful for the wondrous Grace only He can give, and somehow find yourself more true and more beautiful for it along the way.

Here's to an end of summer that knocks your socks off, leaves you breathless, and gets you pumped for fall! Hope your week, and your Bikram, is going great.

Inside and Outside the Hot Room

a true love is gifted
a true love is sacrifice

-Ben Harper, "Not Fire, Not Ice"