4/30 Cross-Dressed in the Classroom

On Monday I my upper level course was covering the culture of playgoing in early modern European cities.  One of the topics that were were discussing was cross-dressing on stage in both England and Spain. So in honor of those early modern cross-dressers, I decided to to don a shirt and tie for class.  If I hadn't been doing 30x30 I would have raided M's closet and stolen slacks and a shirt and I would have worn other shoes, but I made do with what I was working with within the constraints of the challenge.

 30x30 Items: 6. Grey Wide Legged Trousers + 15. White Button Down - Zoe D. + 30. Grey Slouchy Boots - Steve Madden 

Accessories: Tie - spoused

I hadn't worn a tie in a while, and I have to admit that I rather enjoyed it.  I also attempted to rock some Tom Brady hair.

Do you wear ties?  Have you ever cross-dressed for a drag show, a theatrical event, or for pedagogical purposes?

Harem Pants and Gendered Assumptions

As I mentioned previously, while in Europe, I became obsessed with finding a pair of harem pants.  On our last evening in Italy, we were strolling around Trastavere and lo and behold there they were.  In a stall in a small market in Trastavere, Italy a girl from Texas, who has lived in the Midwest for years, found a pair of harem pants made in Nepal.  The merchant kindly left so that I could try them on in the back of his stall.  They fit.  I bought them.

These pants are so incredibly comfortable, and I've already worn them about five times.  I've only managed to take outfits photos once, though.¹  These photos were from right after the move -- before our moving truck and furniture arrived and before I got sick of the gendered assumptions that it seems everyone I've met (outside the university) makes.

 1. Harem Pants - Market in Trastavere, Shirt - H&M, Sandals - Market in Florence, Sunnies - Oscar de la Renta (thrifted and remixed)

My neighbors, the clerk at the BMV, the furniture sales person, the cable guy, and pretty much everyone else we've transacted moving business with has asked where we're moving from.  The next question is to M. "Oh, you must have been transfered?" "Where will you be working?"  Ok, I love my husband, and I wish we both had tenure-track jobs in an awesome city, but right now I'm the one with the fucking job.  Just because I'm a woman and I have a ring on my finger doesn't mean that he's the one who is employed or that his job is the one we moved for.

As we all know, the economy sucks, and I'm grateful to have a decent salary and benefits for the year.  I'm glad that I could get benefits for my spouse and support us both and keep Bailey in kibble and rawhides.  I'm also grateful that it looks like the university I'm a visiting professor at this year has a course for M. to teach in the spring semester.  I know the situation could easily be reversed.  He could be the one with the job, and I could be the one essentially living on a spousal fellowship for the year.  But it is not, and I am not.  I'm on the verge of screaming at the next well-intentioned but gender biased person who asks him about his job.

 M. thinks that I'm overreacting.  He doesn't see what the big deal is about correcting the (possibly) sexist assumptions of strangers who he is unlikely to ever cross paths with again.  I call bullshit.  Partly on him.  Mostly on them.  I wonder what Wonder Woman would think...?

Have you ever experienced a similar situation or felt that people were making inaccurate assumptions about you based on your gender?

“Stylish” Butch or “Fashionable” Femme?

A few weeks ago I went out with friends and colleagues to a nice wine bar to celebrate La Historiadora de Moda’s new job. One of my friends complimented my outfit, a button-up-sweater-vest-tie combo, and then inquired whether my husband, thechemist-coture, had “dressed me.” This wasn’t the first time I’d gotten this question, and, as it turned out, the answer was yes. As the conversation evolved we tried to pin down just what it was that made my style different than my husband’s, and thus made clear whenever he picked out my outfit. The friend who had originally started the conversation with her compliment suggested that, while I was stylish, my husband was fashionable (a proposition, I should add, about which he is rather skeptical). To be fair she also put herself in the “stylish” rather than “fashionable” category, although, since my knowledge is limited, I’m going to focus on men today. So, I’ve been wondering: is this a useful distinction for men’s fashion? What exactly does it mean to be “stylish” but not “fashionable”?

Given that everyone (myself included) perceived a difference in style between my own outfits and those my husband picks out for me, let’s assume for a moment that such a distinction exists. I think it includes, but goes beyond, a simple comparison of the clothes we tend to choose and reflects broader differences in how folks perceive the two of us. In other words, it’s not just about clothes it’s also about personality. I can think of at least four reasons for why I might be considered “stylish” and he “fashionable.” The first two deal with the clothes we choose. First, we differ on the basic combinations, colors, and patterns that we tend to use. My preferences tend to be subdued, darker and less complex in combination and pattern, whereas he is more daring in his use of color and more willing to embrace unorthodox combos and patterns. Second, he is more willing to add accessories (from men’s fashion’s admittedly limited repertoire) such as vests, ties, and coordinated glasses. But, really our choices of clothing and accessories aren’t that different. I mean, we’re not talking a Johnny Weir - Evan Lysacek catfight here.

This brings me to my less-concrete, personality-dependent explanations for the “stylish” / “fashionable” distinction. Expectations, I think, play a key role here: my husband has expressed considerable interest in fashion, and thus people expect more concern from him about how he looks than they expect from me (although if I keep writing for a style blog that might change). More importantly, gender performance, seems to be at the heart of the distinction. I suspect that the “stylish” / “fashionable” distinction is also another way of expressing the butch/femme dichotomy that most gay and lesbian couples have to deal with. Although my husband and I agree that our relationship really doesn’t follow any set gender roles, it seems clear that, at least for many of our family members, friends, and colleagues, I’m perceived as the no-frills butch and he as the flamboyant femme. Although we’re a gay couple, which invites such comparisons, I think the butch/femme analogy defines a spectrum of men’s fashion regardless of relationship status or sexuality. Indeed, it seems clear that there’s a tipping point where one’s interest in what one wears seems to imply not only one’s gender performance but also one’s sexuality, but that’s a whole other can-o-worms.

So, do I think it’s a useful distinction—yes. Do I think it’s just about the clothing and accessories we choose—no. Check out the photos, try to guess which outfits I put together and which ones my husband choose for me, and tell us what you think about the “stylish” / “fashionable” distinction.