Funniest Rejection Letters

 

There's nothing like light-hearted humour help to ease the pain of rejection, as evidenced by this letter from the offices of Mad magazine, one of the most influential humour publications ever released. The letter was sent to all unsuccessful submitters of material during the much-lauded reign of Al Feldstein.


Kindest rejection letter ever. 


This letter belongs to Kevin Burg, whose grandmother received it in 1938. Despite Disney's declaration that women aren't to do any creative work, his grandmother eventually became an animator during WWII when women had to step up "For the War Effort." Don't you love the stationery? So perfect to send to all the "girls" looking for jobs. 






This editor from Harlequin wrote the meanest rejection letter ever!

Note: Our reader Grace wrote to us to let us know this letter is fake. 


Great example of how honesty is not appreciated on eharmony. 


Letter addressed to a 12-year-old boy who tried to get into the Marine Corps, from Bill Shaprio's book, Other People's Rejection Letters!


"Please change your race and then apply again". 


Another one from Bill Shapiro's book, 'thank you but no, you are not pretty enough'. 


Here's a rejection sent in by a blog-reader from the cruel world of freelance journalism. The editor says: "I can't really do much with this. Some nice writing but it reads too much like a cross between a poem and a pamphlet. We aspire for more 3rd person reported."

Craziest Ways to Quit a Job

 

 The Flight Attendant who quit on a plane and left using the emergency slide

Steven Slater, a flight attendant from JetBlue airliner, got into an argument with a passenger during boarding at a Pittsburgh airport. He finally had enough of his job, quit, and opened the emergency slide on the plane in order to leave. He grabbed the intercom and said: "To the passenger who called be a mother ——, —- you. "I've been in the business 28 years. I've had it. That's it." Mr Slater then activated the emergency exit and slid down theinflatable slide on to the tarmac. He then boarded a train to the terminal, stripping off his tie and discarding it to the astonishment of bemused onlookers. Slater was later arrested and charged with reckless endangerment and criminal mischief. 

 The man who quit his job with a resignation letter written on a cake

Neil Berrett gave a two week's notice of his intent to resign. The letter was written in frosting on a full sheet size cake. The cake was delicious and it was well received.

"Dear Mr. Bowers,
During the past three years, my tenure at the Hunters Point Naval Shipyard has been nothing short of pure excitement, joy and whim. However, I have decided to spend more time with my family and attend to health issues that have recently arisen. I am proud to have been part of such an outstanding team and I wish this organization only the finest in future endeavors.
Please accept this cake as notification that I am leaving my position with NWT on March 27.
Sincerely,
W. Neil Berrett"

He later submitted a paper resignation letter since it would be hard to file the cake away. 

 The girl who quit her job on dry erase board and emailed it to the entire office

On a Monday morning, a girl named Jenny quit her job with a (flash) bang by emailing these photos to the entire office. Awesome doesn't begin to describe this office heroine. In the board she thanks everyone, except her boss. Hilarious.

Note: our readers wrote to us to let we know that this was a hoax from the guys at theCHIVE.com. The girl who supposedly quit her job actually is a model /actress named Elyse Porterfield. Nice one! 

 The guy who quit his job with a melodramatic act at the cafeteria

Maybe no one cared or even met the guy, but this is a hell of a cool way to quit.

 The programmer who resigned with a Super Mario Resignation Game he developed for the occasion

If you have ever sweated and worried over writing and handing in a resignation letter, then the latest 'Super Mario resignation game' created bya games dev over at 2K Games is sure to inspire and entertain in equal measure. The Australia-based games dev didn't want to do the boring old 'writing a meaningless letter' thing to tell his boss and colleagues he was throwing in the towel to try his luck in the world of independent gamedevelopment. Instead, Jarrad Woods' announced his resignation in style, with a slightly reworked version of Super Mario Bros mashed up with his own title Polychromatic Funk Monkey.You can play Wood's resignation game yourself, directing Mario over those familiar blocks to the end of the level where a flashing "I QUIT" sign pops up. 

 The designer who left a note on his computer at the office

Apparently this is a real resignation from a designer who left this note on his desktop. According to somebody who allegedly knew what was going on, he believed he was in a temp-to-hire position, and after three months of extra hours and butt-kissing, turns out it's just a temp position. He was a good worker too. I'd have recommended him. Too bad he burned his bridges.

 The CEO who resigned on Twitter in Haiku

When you're on your way out of a job, there's a lot of fun ways to exit. This guy decided to tweet out a haiku. That's exactly what Sun MicrosystemsCEO Jonathan Schwartz did tonight. Here's his tweet : Today's my last day at Sun. I'll miss it. Seems only fitting to end on a #haiku. Financial crisis/Stalled too many customers/CEO no more

Schwartz had been serving as Sun's CEO since 2006; prior to that he was the company's COO. It has been known that he would resign for several days now following Sun's sale to Oracle, which the EU just approved. Schwartz has always enjoyed this type of public discourse, as he continued to blog in a time when very few CEOs would dare do such a thing. His latest post was on January 27, describing what he'd be doing next. 

 The guy who sent a resignation video – of himself naked

The guy who made this video wins the award for weirdest way to quit, with a video that combines Star Wars, a desire to have sex with everyone, and himself naked. 

Creative Resumes

Looking for a job? Having one of these creative resumes won't necessary get you one, but it'll surely get a lot of attention; meet ten of the best resumes we've seen.

Sabrina Saccocio is a TV, radio print and web producer who has put together this creative resume, looking for a unique and interesting work, a Facebook resume.


Pocket CV by Temitope Shoda. If you have to go to several jobs interviews in one day, this great resume is, besides creative, very easy to carry. 


Michael Anderson's portafolio not only shows he can create great graphics, it also proves he is able to turn 'boring' facts and figures into something exciting. (Link)


Very creative resume from Kristian Leigh Walsh, inspired in Game of Life. 



One of the best resumes we've seen, made on a T-shirt. Very creative resume but you won't be able to sue for sexual harassment if your future boss starts starring at your boobs. 


Samuel J. Mallett folded resume 


Resume in a box by ~Pixcaliba 


Eugene Isaac was trying to land a writing job at a magazine, so he came up with this creative magazine cover resume. 


Tired of writing or typing? How about sewing your own cool resume like graphic designer Melissa Washin. 


Art director Katen Adolski used pencil tools to show her career evolution. 

Crazy Japanese Inventions

Girlfriend's lap pillow
Yep. A pillow imitating a woman's legs made from urethane foam.



Milk + Beer = Bilk
The idea for the drink was conceived after dairy firms threw out a huge amount of surplus milk in March last year. The son of the manager of a liquor store in Nakashibetsu, whose main industry is dairy farming, suggested the idea of producing the milk beer to local brewery Abashiri Beer. So there you go, a milk beer!



Diet Water
"All the flavor of regular water but only half the calories".. WTF?!



Vitamins for Gamers
Can't concentrate on your Wii? Pop a pill!



Basashi Icecream: a dessert made from... horse meat!
The company that makes it is known for its unusual ice cream flavours, many of which have limited popularity.



The Candy That Makes You Horny
That's the actual name of this Lollipop package. It tastes like flavored condoms




Mother's Milk
Milk that tastes just like your mother's...



Bust Up Gum: grow those breasts! according to B2UP, the special ingredients, "extracts from the Pueraria mirifica (Kwao Krua) plant, makes a woman's breasts grow as well as improving their shape and tone."



Rapidly Expanding Mysterious Balloon.
Ok, WTF?! It says "Squeeze! The swan's head pops out!! Be the king of the party with this towering swan!
Materials for connecting not included"



Fresh Air Mask
Yeap. What better way to relax after a hard day at work than by sucking in some fresh air from your favorite plant?

Google Earths finds

Dubbed the "Badlands Guardian" by locals, this geological marvel (Google Earth coordinates 50.010083,-110.113006) in Alberta, Canada, bears an uncanny resemblance to a human head wearing a full Native American headdress--and earphones, to boot. Of course, The Guardian was produced naturally.


A synthetic wonder that can be truly appreciated only from above, this giant man-shaped lake (-21.805149,-49.089977) is located near Bauru, Brazil.


This heart-shaped island in the Adriatic became a hit on Google Earth for Valentine's Day. The uninhabited island is only 130,000 square yards and is called Galesnjak. The owner didn't even know how perfectly this island off the Croatian coast was until he was swamped with requests from couples to stay there.


This fingerprint can be found in Hove Park, near Brighton and Hove in the UK. It measures 38 metres around. Imagine the size of the hand.

Rhett Dashwood, a graphic designer from Australia, created the first Google Maps alphabet, featuring all 26 letters, using satellite images of natural features and buildings.


Lion, at ZSL Whipsnade Zoo located at Whipsnade, near Dunstable in Bedfordshire, England.


Some of the sights you find in Google Earth are just plain mysterious. For example, why is a fighter jet parked (Google Earth coordinates 48.825183,2.1985795) in what looks to be a residential neighborhood lot near Paris?




This is a US Navy building in Coronado, Ca. that was unintentionally built in the shape of a swastika. Now, because of a public uproar, the Navy will be spending $600,000 to alter the shape of the building.




In the early days of Firefox, a few devoted fans wanted to generate more PR for their beloved site and so gathered a team of people in Amity, Oregon, to recreate the Firefox logo in a field; their very own fox crop.


Last year, one of the Google Earth Community members called 'ear1grey' posted an amazing discovery. He found a huge picture (36 miles tall) of Santa!


So here's a giant Ipod Shuffle! It looks like a farmer's field with a horse pen or something on it? Either that or a hard core apple enthusiast. Unfortunately, it looks like he moved the pen on the map since it was first spotted.




Google Earth doesn't have advertising, unless you consider the corporate logos and trademarks big enough to be seen from space. Check out this massive Coca-Cola logo (-18.529225,-70.25002) etched into a hillside of Chile with 70,000 Coke bottles. Haven't they heard of recycling?


As if Oprah Winfrey's celebrity weren't already big enough, an Arizona farmer built a 10-acre homage to the talk show host (Google Earth coordinates 33.225488,-111.5955).


Too late now, huh?


It's not safe to do topless in your roof anymore. One careless sunbath and you can end in everyone else's computer screen.