Incognito

I have thought about writing this post for months, but when The Worst Day of the Month passes, it no longer seems necessary. We have discussed how different situations and different expectations impact our sartorial choices:  For job interviews, we don suits; for the first day in the classroom, we at FA tend to wear our blacks/grays or a blazer and save our patterns and florals for later in the term. We've discussed that when one is on campus, even on non-teaching days, it might be a good idea to look professional, or at least keep a blazer handy, in the event you run into your students or have an impromptu meeting.  But how do you dress yourself when it's the dead of winter and you have five extra pounds of water weight in your stomach and (mostly) in your chest and when you look into the mirror you think, I should just stay home and hide?

 dress - Loft (remixed)

cardi - Sparrow/Anthro (remixed)

tights - Eloise/Anthro

scarf (hair) - Tie Rack (remixed)

scarf (neck) - Chicago boutique (remixed)

earrings - Corcoran Gallery, DC (remixed)

ring - Folger Gift Shot, DC (remixed)

wellies - Capelli via Marshalls (remixed)

Hiding always seems like the best option, seeing as there are a number of things that are out of the question:  all of my bras save for 1, my favorite little jacket that buttons across the chest,  anything form-fitting across the chest or belly, most pants because they just make me feel awful and with snowboots or wellies, they look particularly ridiculous, and of course particularly anathema items like pencil skirts. 

But what you should not do is stay home and hide. And let's face it, most of us can't--we have work, teaching commitments, meetings, family responsibilities, and research to do. You should get dressed in something at least semi-structured that's still comfortable. This outfit is a modification of one I wore back in October.  The difference in cardigans is very important.  The pink summer weight GAP cardigan would have highlighted my + 1 cup size chest.  The ruching and roomier chest on the Sparrow cardigan (worn here) hides, minimizes, and still adds color. And remember that knit or wool allows more mobility than, say, a blazer.

Of course, the bloating (and leg cramping, ugh) isn't as nearly as bad as what goes through my head: It  took me at least 15 minutes just to put on tights because I sat on my bed feeling sorry for myself thinking what's the use? If you're like me, and countless other women, you associate PMS not only with physical symptoms, but also a few especially low days of body dysmorphia, depression, and/or anxiety (Wondering why? Well, for those of us not on hormonal contraception, at least, that evil trinity of feelings is caused by the fairly sudden drop in progesterone shown here). Instead of pretending that each month the Universe suddenly hates me and curses me with this shit, the best thing to do, I've learned, is to expect it and have a plan to combat it (insert gratuitously nerdy metaphor about Hobbits v. Orcs, Humans v. Cylons, or The Knight of Burning Pestle v. everyone else). After leaving my house in this outfit a friend of mine even told me I looked "Spunky."  Let it be known that in no way does spunky allude to concepts like bloaty, pudgy, depressed, or sad.

Finally, besides the aforementioned prohibited list of items, this is not a time to try out new outfit formulations or attempt to rehabilitate pieces of clothing.  Wearing either of my Pairing Down case studies--the Moth skirt + too big sweater or the tent-like black top--would have, in the words of Anne Shirley, sunk me into "the depths of despair." However, after looking at these photos, I am happy to announce that I have resolved to purchase a belt that resembles the universally beloved Snakebite Belt by Anthropologie (shown here on Sara of You, Me & Anthropologie) because many of my dresses are fuller than necessary around my natural waist and cinching would probably be flattering. I will attempt this new trick next week.